Want to improve your sex life? The next time you are going to make love, KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON. I mean, for the entire experience. Forget about penetration, orgasm, and all that jazz that distracts us from what the experience is really about.

I’m sure you think I’m crazy. But there’s no better way to learn how to add depth and intensity to your lovemaking. Making love with your clothes on will force you to rely on the most powerful aspects of intimacy – those same aspects that you ignore when you are so focused on genitals – yours, and your parner’s. But if you take everyone’s pelvis out of the picture, you will really learn what love-making is all about.

Let me explain. When you make love with your clothes on, it allows you to concentrate on all of the facets of love-making that take your experience from boring sex into tender bliss. These are the skills that men have developed when women recall the best sex of their lives – when she feels ravished, consumed, and fully loved. They are the skills that women use when a man feels that his partner totally opened and responded to him, allowing him into her body, heart, and soul. When couples have these abilities, then the inevitable toll that aging takes on their bodies’ matters so much less. Penis size, low libido, premature ejaculation, and vulvar pain all become less distressing.

Making love with your clothes on means you must focus on your loving connection, the “energy” you and your partner exchange, your vocalizations, the ways you see into your partner and let your partner see into you, the ways your bodies move together, how you touch your partner – particularly their face and hands, and any sweet words you chose to whisper. Making love with your clothes on forces you to really make love. You have to show up. No pretending. No sex for purely physical release that may leave your partner feeling a little used or irrelevant. You have to leave all your bad habits at the door.

One other reason why making love with your clothes on works so well is that it removes the pressure to perform. Clothes-on love-making gives men an opportunity to not have to worry about how long they are lasting, or how erect they are. It gives women a chance to enjoy the experience without the pressure of orgasm.

But be prepared. If you do this right, it will be a vulnerable-feeling experience for both of you. No longer can you escape intimacy by closing your eyes, focusing on your orgasm, or pretending to be present when you are really thinking about what you have to get done in the morning. This kind of love-making forces a level of intimacy that may be uncomfortable at first. But it’s worth the effort. Remember, over time even great lovers get bored. Making love with your clothes on adds to your sexual repertoire over time, so that you can bring more to your intimate connection.